Early MN Christmas

My trip to Minnesota turned out pretty good. I was only gone for 4 full days but that was just about the right amount of time for me. Most of the time Elias was running around the house with his sugar free popsicle. He seemed to eat at least three of these a day. He would just pull one of his parents over to the fridge and motion for them to get him a popsicle. With his mastery of saying "more please" in baby sign language, his parents were incapable of saying no.

Another one of my highlights was going to Ian's school and having lunch with him. He didn't talk. He didn't even want to answer my questions. I think he was just happy I was there because some of the kids in his class refuse to play with him at recess and tell him that he is not a good friend. I thought only girls played those games.

I met Ian's friend Eli who asked me how old I was. I asked him to guess how old I was and he said, 24. I told him I was 37 and he said, "That's impossible!" That was nice to hear, even if it was coming from a 6 year old.

There was the family Christmas party that was a little on the stressful side since I was in charge of the turkey and the mashed potatoes for 17 people. It all worked out in the end.  A large black lady that lives at my mom's new building came down to the party room with her walker and got in line to get some food. My aunt Peggy had to tell her that this was a family only event.  She said, "So what you are saying is that I'm not welcome?" Thankfully Peggy diffused that situation but she caused plenty of her own drama later. Cate made two amazing gluten free pumpkin pies sweetened with honey. I think, "I should probably get that recipe from her." and then I think nah, I don't need to eat a whole pie by myself, cause that is exactly what would happen.

This year was definitely better than the year my presents got stolen off my doorstep and Moe and his crew were all sick with the stomach flu, or the year Moe forgot to buy the meat and didn't have two forks for us to eat dinner with. It was also really good to see my cousin Leah.  She is the blonde who has been living in China. I probably haven't seen her in seven years.

The Best Gifts

I just came from my work Christmas luncheon and heard from a man named Thomas Valetta.  I have heard him speak before and he seemed like a really dry speaker.  After he would speak people would say, "What a great talk!" and I would be thinking, "Really did I miss something?" Well he spoke just now and I haven't wanted to laugh and cry so much in a long time.  Sometimes I think about the people I work with and I think about how they all must have grown up in these happy LDS families in Utah and they got into BYU and met their spouses and they don't really seem to have bad things happen to them.  Well even though it seems like the truth it is far from it.  Everyone has their struggles and I should never judge.

Tom told us about how he grew up in Compton CA. They were so poor that they couldn't even afford to have a front door.  They just had a curtain that they would pull across the front entrance.  His birth father died when he was very young. His step-dad was a bar tender and turned into a serious alcoholic when his mother decided to leave the family for another man.  When he finally got up the nerve to ask his step-dad when their mother was coming home. He was told that she was never coming home. His step father then asked, "Do you want to know why she is never coming back?" He said he did and then his step-dad proceeded to tell him that it was because he was selfish and was always asking for things. Yikes!

He said that on Christmas Eve the kids were all hanging out and talking about how Santa wasn't going to forget them and how they were going to stay up until he came.  His siblings all fell asleep in the living room after their bother had read them some Christmas books he had borrowed from the neighbors. He said that he stayed up and was chanting "Santa, Santa..." over and over again.Then he heard a noise in the kitchen and he said he was sure it was Santa.  He ran into the kitchen and found his very inebriated step-dad, stumbling through the door.  It woke his siblings and they all went running into the kitchen and saying that they needed to get milk and cookies for Santa. Their step-dad proceeded to tell them how selfish they were and that he was going to teach them a lesson.  He started to take off his belt and they knew this meant that they were going to get a whoopin. 

He said that if his step-dad had one good characteristic it was that he was very predictable.  This meant that they would all file down to the living room and take their turns getting their whoopin.  He said on the way down there was a stack of comic books and they would all grab one on the way for some extra padding. He said he was so glad that he was first because he grabbed the thick 50 cent Donald Duck comic book for extra padding.  His brother was up first and he said that he did a superb acting job, making it seem like he was really hurting and then it was his turn and he was eager to do an equally amazing job acting like it really hurt.  However, mid-beating his father realized that he had the comic book and started to beat him harder and even hitting him on the back with his belt.

Then he was going to beat his little sister, and Tom said that he couldn't let him do it.  He got so upset that he went right up to him and hit him in the face. He said that he knew that the moment he connected (even though he knew that he was too little and his step-dad was too numb to feel much of anything) he just had to run as far and as fast as he could.  He didn't even bother to look back until he was very far away. He ran and ran and ran until he realized that Santa knew if boys were in their beds at night. He proceeded to run back and he took a wrong turn and to make up for the wrong turn he ran faster.  He found himself completely lost.  He went to a few houses with the lights on and asked them if they knew where he lived and they didn't. 

Finally he sat down and looked up in the sky and saw a million stars.  He said that was a miracle in itself to be able to see the stars in Compton, but he shook his fist angrily to the sky and he said I am nothing and nobody cares about me! Then he said that he heard a voice but it was more like feeling than a voice and it said I love you and I will always be here for you. He said he didn't know what it was and thought maybe it was his father who died.  He said it wasn't until he connected with the full time missionaries that he came to understand where the message came from.  He just felt good so he started to skip and sing Christmas songs (the non-religious ones because that was all he knew) and he did that because he thought that is what you do when you are happy. 

Then it got late and he wanted to sleep and shield himself from the cold so he found a car to sleep under.  He hung his shoes and socks on the back bumper of the car just incase Santa could still find him.  In the morning he checked his socks to see if there was anything in them and they were empty. 

That was as much of the story as I can recall at this time and I can't do his story justice.  I really wish that someone had it on video because I could watch it over and over again.  I guess I will just have to play it back in my mind over and over again. It wasn't your typical Merry Christmas story but it is the one I am probably going to remember the longest.

I have been thinking about his experience all the pain he went through and why he would have to endure that as such a young boy. Then I thinking about what he gained from that experience. What price are people willing to pay to come to know that God is there? I am not going to try to claim that there is a secret formula or that God always answers us the way we want him to but I think for Tom he is happy to give up Santa and all the gifts at Christmas to know that God is there and that he loves us.

What Going to School is Teaching Me About Myself

I am an independent learner.  It is really hard for me to sit still in a class with a teacher who likes to talk (especially about him/herself). I feel like my time is important and it shouldn't be wasted with bad accounting jokes, random botany studies or especially teachers who are using their position to indoctrinate the student body about their political, or social views.

I like to learn at my own pace and that pace is fast.  It is so nice to be able to grasp a principal and move on instead of beating a hose that was dead 20 minutes ago. I am sure I would be less uptight about all of this if I wasn't working a full time job on top of school. The few minutes I have to myself are precious when I am juggling work and school. I do all that I can to scrape those extra few minutes together. My current goal is to finish 3 years worth of classes in 6 months and I am so far on track to do that.

I have a really hard time with educational goals that are more than two years out. While I am in school I can hit my studies hard as long as I can shorten the overall length of school. This would be why I went to beauty school after high school. While I was in high school I felt like I was always counting the days until I was free to do what I wanted to do and get paid real money, because I was always poor growing up and I wanted to finally feel like I had some control of my life.

I am a pretty good student. I take pride in my work and when grades are measured I want to do really well.  When I went to SLCC I graduated with high honors. Why I wanted to do so well, I am not sure.  It isn't like future employers were really going to care. It isn't like I was going to even remember half of the things I learned or even have a need to remember them.  I guess it is just an issue of personal pride and integrity.

I can be really hard on myself. When I was getting ready to take a certification exam, I was given some misinformation about the test from a girl in Student Services. I was told that I could reschedule, no problem. Then I called back to confirm after the school had opened for the day and was told that I couldn't reschedule. By this time it was too late for me to rush to the testing center and take it. I get two tries for this test and if I have to take it a third time then I have to pay $130. I was going to be marked as a no show for the test and would only have one more try to take it before I had to pay. I got really worked up about it and after only sleeping 4 hours because I was up studying and then worrying about it. I was in a bad way. Even though I was told that if I have to take the test a second time, they will waive the voucher fee, I kept questioning what I should have done different when my brain just tells me that I need to let it go. I am not sure why it is so hard for me to remember and focus on the fact that I have passed 5 of my 20 classes in the first month.

I don't want to pay a lot of money for my education. I know that there is a big push to be at the best school and get the best education.  I did go to the best beauty school in Minneapolis and I am glad I did. At the time I was anxious about taking out a loan for $4,000 to help cover their $6,000 tuition. I believe their tuition now is about $20,000 or more. I was glad I went to that school because the education was a lot better than what I saw or heard about elsewhere and we also had a LOT of clients to work on in comparison to the other schools which helped me feel more prepared to enter the workforce. Just a little side note here, my favorite memory from school was when I was taking my boards and my mom, who has a sensitive scalp was my model.  I was trying to do finger waves on her and she yelled out, "She's hurting me!" I was like mom, don't say that. And she said, "Well I would think they would want to know if you are hurting me."

I guess the bottom line here is that I do not like debt looming over me. I don't like school debt, I do not like car debt and I don't even like house debt. I would love to have my place paid off now. That would be a dream. If I finish my degree in 6 months which is my goal, I will pay about $3000, and my work reimburses me 75% so it is going to set me back $750! How many people can say that? I love it.