Perfect Liberty

I was asked to do the devotional here at work today and since the 4th of July is looming I decided to talk about freedom and liberty.  My thought took a different twist as I explored two talks on liberty and freedom from lds.org.  The talks were The Perfect Law of Liberty By Marion G Romney and Freedom "from" or Freedom "to" by F Enzio Busche.  Here are a few of my thoughts mixed with a lot of their thoughts. 

Since the 4^th of July is this week, I wanted to focus my remarks on freedom.  The more I looked into it from a gospel perspective, the more I realized that more than being a free nation, the Lord wants us to have freedom from the bondage of sin.  We can many examples in the scriptures where good and righteous men have enjoyed freedom from sin and yet were still subject to the earthly bondage of prison.  A few examples include; Joseph of Egypt, Jeremiah, John the Baptist, Peter, Ammon, Joseph Smith and even our Savior Jesus Christ.  

Of course this leads us to ask, “Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?” I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers but I have noticed in my own life it seems that when I have spiritual time outs and am left with my own thoughts, I am better able to focus on my relationship with the Lord.  When this relationship with him is built stronger it fills my life with guidance, purpose, meaning and direction.

In Marion G Romney’s talk, he said…

“The issues have changed since the time of Lincoln, but the multipurpose use of the word liberty and its synonym freedom has not changed. The sweets of liberty about which we usually speak may be classified as (1) political independence, (2) economic freedom, and (3) free agency.

I would have us strive for that liberty which comprehends all three of these freedoms, and more. I would have us strive for a freedom of the soul to which they all contribute. I would have us attain that blessed state foreshadowed by the Prophet Joseph Smith when he said, “Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God.” (D&C 121:45.) One who enjoys such liberty is, in the words of Jesus, “free indeed.” (John 8:36.) He is possessed of perfect liberty.

[W]hile political independence, economic freedom, and free agency may contribute to liberty of the soul, they do not guarantee it.”
He goes on to say…

“While perhaps it is seldom, if ever, contended that either political independence or economic freedom alone brings perfect liberty, it is not, however, uncommon for free agency to be considered as synonymous with freedom of the soul. And it is true that the God-given right to choose one’s course of action is an indispensable prerequisite to such freedom. Without it we can scarcely enjoy any type of liberty—political, economic, or personal. It is one of our greatest heritages. For it we are deeply indebted to our Father in Heaven, to the Founding Fathers, and to the pioneers. God gave it to man in the Garden of Eden. (See Moses 7:32.) The Founding Fathers, under the Lord’s inspiration, wrote a guarantee of it into the fundamental law of the land. And the pioneers, led by the inspiration of heaven, gave their all to perpetuate it. Surely we ought always to be alert in its defense and willing, if necessary, to give our lives for its preservation.

Free agency, however, precious as it is, is not of itself the perfect liberty we seek, nor does it necessarily lead thereto. As a matter of fact, through the exercise of their agency more people have come to political, economic, and personal bondage than to liberty.”

In his talk he gives many examples from the scriptures of people who enjoyed these freedoms (political, economic and personal) but through their exercise of agency, lost them.  In the end he shares with us what he believes to be the perfect law of liberty…

“Many years ago, while riding through Cleveland, Ohio, on a train, I saw on a building the inscription ‘Obedience to Law is Liberty.’ With the proper interpretation of the word law, we have in this inscription a statement of ultimate truth. By inserting three words, it is made to read, ‘Obedience to the law of Christ is liberty.’ (See D&C 88:21.) This is not only a statement of the perfect law of liberty, but also a statement of the way to perfect liberty.”

I also really enjoyed the words of Elder F Enzio Busche, who said…

“What then does it mean to be free? Freedom means to have matured to the full knowledge of our dangerously many responsibilities as a human being. We have learned that everything we do, and even say or think, has consequences. We realize that too long we have believed that we were victims of circumstances.”

He also speaks about how our covenants make us free, when speaking of the baptismal covenant he said, “We gladly will submit ourselves into this covenant, knowing that there is a big difference between mere desire and covenant. When we just desire something, we will work towards achieving it only when convenient. But when we are bound by a sacred covenant, like baptism, we are learning to overcome all obstacles through obedience, and in so doing we will be blessed with the presence of the Spirit and therefore eventually with achievement. We are beginning to become alive as we take, knowingly, full responsibility for our own life and as we stop blaming circumstances.”

In closing he says, “Jesus Christ wants to empower our lives, according to our own righteous choices, to that dimension that, through our faith and our doings, the circumstances whose prisoners we were in the past will eventually change. In the Book of Mormon we learn that the Redeemer monitors our lives, together with a multitude of holy angels.

In this freedom that we have received in our time, through our understanding of His divine plan for us, we stand in our full responsibility. Let us always stay close to the loving, caring hand of our Redeemer and our Savior to find safety and joy. I say this in deep humility.”

It has been interesting to think about how we create our own prisons/bondage for ourselves despite the amazing levels of freedom that we do enjoy here in this great country. 

Trust in the Lord=Happiness

Last night at institute class we went over the talk "Trust in the Lord" By Richard G Scott.  As we went through it I was surprised how many times it mentioned being happy or happiness.  He actually mentions it 14 times if you were curious.  The talk was great and I am sure it was one that I really needed to study.  Here are some key points on happiness that I picked up.

• Trust in the Lord brings happiness now and in the eternities
• You won't always get what you want but you will get what you need
• God wants our happiness even more than we do
• As doors close in your life new ones will open
• After trials have been the hardest, the Lord will place packets of spiritual sunlight to guide our way if we exercise faith in him
• Happiness, strength, courage and a capacity to overcome challenges come from a life centered in Jesus Christ
• Recognizing our blessings brings happiness
• God will keep his promises as we come to understand the plan of happiness, accept his will, receive all of the ordinances and keep our covenants
• Christ gave his life for our happiness

My Institute teacher also talked about how often in life we forget that the Lord's plan for us is happiness.  Too often we want to bend God's will for us to our own will.  Because of our limited perspective, we think that we know what will make us happy.  I have already learned from Daniel Gilbert's book that we are terrible at predicting what will make us happy.  Also we may think that we know what will make us happy in this life but we are even more clueless when it comes to what will make us happy in the eternities. 

I have been thinking about how popular it has become lately in society to get God to see things our way.  Some people even equate this with being our authentic selves. I see it with Women who want the priesthood.  Surely in these women's minds, they are convinced that they will be happier if only they have the priesthood now.  They can't fathom in their own minds how it could be possible that women and men can be happier if women didn't have the priesthood.  I see this also with the popular issue regarding same sex attraction.  People with these desires can not fathom that they can ever be happy if they don't act on their desires and trust God.  There is a constant push to bend God's will to ours, which is so silly considering our very limited perspective. Left to our own devices we can sure make a mess of things.

I am not going to claim I have all the answers but I can name multiple times in my life that I wanted something SO bad and I could not understand how I could possibly be happy without it.  God seemed like he was prying out of my hands my only idea of happiness.  I thought that God had to want it for me too because surely he wanted me to be happy, surely he loved me enough to give me what I wanted.  In the end I was much happier without getting what I wanted. 

I heard a really good quote on Sunday in sacrament meeting that I am going to paraphrase because I can't find it but I know it was Elder Holland.  He in essence said, If God equated love for us with lack of suffering then he surely never would have let Christ suffer and die on the cross.  It was also mentioned that God will either give us what we want or he will give us something better.

In life there will be suffering but I will still trust in God and seek to make his will known for me in my life so that I can have happiness now and in the eternities.  I am doing my best to let go of doubt, fear, hopelessness and continue to turn my will over to his.  I have a lot of work to do.  Perhaps it is the hardest thing I will be asked to do but I know that in the end happiness will be my reward. 

The Happiness Project (part two)

Gretchen makes the point that part your happiness includes your identity or how you see yourself.  There are a lot of pieces that make this up like your job, your titles, your relationships, your skills, your accomplishments, your knowledge.  If you have many elements that make up your identity it is easier when you lose a piece of it like your job.  Although from my perspective as a child of God, this title will never go away.  Perhaps at times I will feel unworthy to claim such an identity, however, it always remains and means much more than any other identity I will ever have.  If everything else goes away, that will always be there and it will be enough to get me through anything. 

She reminds us that success seeking comes with a lot of failure, so we need to be able to embrace failure if we are ever going to be able to continue to seek success.  As she was working to get her blog up and going and her career as a writer going she hit a few bumps.  She had to keep telling herself, "It is fun to fail." Risking failure allows you to score success.  She also liked to tell herself when things got hard, "This is the fun part."  If you can see hard times as a challenge that you believe you are up for then it changes your perspective and you can remain happy through your trials. 

We need to learn to enjoy now.  She talked about three fallacies that keep us from enjoying now.  They are...

Arrival Fallacy-The belief that once you meet your goal you will be happy
Floating World Fallacy-The belief that pleasure without purpose brings happiness
Nihilism Fallacy-The belief that it is not possible to be happier than you already are

If you want to read more on these fallacies, you can probably check online or read the book "Happier" by Tal Ben-Shahar

She then quotes Friedrich Nietzsche who said, "The end of the melody is not the goal; but nonetheless, if the melody had not reached it's end it would not have reached it's goal either. A parable."

Studies show that remembering happy times helps boost your happiness in the present.  I suppose that is a no brainer but another study showed that happy people remember happier times and depressed people remember sad times because it fits their present mood.  Just as there are stages of grieving, there are also stages of happiness.  She says these are when we anticipate it, savor it, express it and recall it.  You can follow these steps to eke out the most happiness of an experience.

Gretchen wanted to have more happy moments with her children because she discovered that parents are only as happy as their unhappiest child.  She set a goal in the month to increase her happiness with her children.  She had to work to discover what made her happy and she stressed that you shouldn't try to change what makes you happy or deny what makes you happy because it isn't cool, is too childish or doesn't seem legitimate.  Finding people who share your interests boots life satisfaction 2%. 

I am only about half way through this book so I imagine that this book will get two more posts out of me.  Then the only thing I have to do is try to discover what makes me happy and get to work on it.  :)

The Happiness Project (part one)

So my latest book is called, The Happiness Project.  Thanks Brooke for the loan!  :) It is written by a lawyer turned author, Gretchen Rubin who shares her year long experience of having greater happiness in her life.  At first she did a lot of research to see what all the experts were saying about happiness and then she spent more time trying to incorporate all of this happiness into her life.  I am just about 1/4 of the way through, but as in the past I would rather my posts don't get as wordy as the books I am reading so I am going to deliver this in parts. 

Her first goal is to get her energy up.  She decided this will be the best way to get her project off to the right start.  So she starts by being sure she gets sleep and exercise.  I was surprised she didn't say anything about food because I have heard that 80% of your training is what you put in your mouth. Oh well.  Here is what she did say about sleep.  The average person sleeps 6.9 hours on weeknights and 7.9 hours on weekends.  That is 20% less than in 1900.  Sleep deprivation impairs memory, weakens the immune system, slows the metabolism and may foster weight gain.

The things that helped her out most were, getting ready for bed early, not using alert thinking too late at night, keeping lights low before bed and then really dark when she slept, not using caffeine, breathing deeply and keeping her room a little on the chilly side. Then she stresses that you have to do what works best for you. 

For her exercise she took the advice of a friend and got with a personal trainer and did weight training for 20 minutes a day.  The benefits of exercise are, people are healthier, they think more clearly, sleep better, they have more energy and they have a delayed onset of dementia.  She also was a fan of walking.  She said that it triggers the bodies relaxation response and clears the mind. 

Her next goal was to improve her marriage.  She worked on not nagging, or snapping at her husband and not expecting praise from him.  She focused on the things he did that she appreciated and let things that bothered her go.  She also had to resist the urge to be pessimistic and shoot down her husbands hope by sharing too many discouraging facts.  She talked about loneliness and she said that the greatest predictor of people not being lonely for both men and women is how much time they spend with women.  Apparently when men have guy time, it doesn't decrease their level of loneliness as much as when they are with women.  I thought that was interesting.  She also said that studies show that expressing anger doesn't relieve it, it only amplifies it. 

She said that when one spouse is 30% happier they can increase their spouses happiness.  When a spouse is unhappy they will also drag their spouse down with them.  She decided to give proofs of love to her husband instead of just telling him she loved him.  She gave him one week "extreme nice" where she just focused on his happiness and she didn't tell him she was doing it.  He just new that she was trying to improve their marriage in the month of February.  In the end she said that if you want to be happy you need to fight the urge to determine what your spouse can do to make you happier and focus on changing yourself.

During her whole writing process she wanted to have a simple formula to create happiness in her own life.  Her formula boiled down to eliminating bad and increasing the good while growing as a person.  She said that we have to feel right with ourselves and where we are as a person.  She said we need to do what we know we need to do and be meeting the expectations we have set for ourselves.  Do we have a sense of purpose? She said based on a lot of what she read, she agreed that, "It is not goal attainment but the process of striving after goals - that is growth - that brings happiness."

She quoted William Butler Yeats who said, "Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simply growth.  We are happy when we are growing."

Happiness Quiz

I would say that I am a relatively happy person and that seem to be able to cope well in my life when things don't go as I'd like but I wanted to see if I really was as happy as I think I am so I decided to take a few online tests and see what they can tell me.  I started with Oprah's "ARE YOU HAPPY" Quiz.  My results...

I even tried to take the quiz again and answer like I was the happiest person in the world and I got the same results so I don't know if I could get a higher score on this test.  If you take it and get a higher score than me, then I need to shake your hand. 

 

Next I took the Psychology Today test which I don't recommend.  After answering the 47 questions they just give you a teaser and expect you to pay $4.95 for a full report.  This is what they told me...

If I was truly naïve I might fork out $4.95 for your full report.  Apparently I am too cynical to trust you, but then again you should know that already if you knew your stuff.  Besides, I didn't ask how cynical I was, I asked how happy I am. Sheesh! The more I think about this the more frustrated it makes me.  They are telling me that I am not cynical enough?  They want me to go around doubting everyone and everything?  No thanks that is not the kind of world I want to live in.  I prefer to listen to Haim G. Ginott (I hope I have the right guy because the quote below has been attributed to a few different people) who said,

 

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

 

This is the kind of world that I want to live in.  If it so happens that I live in the way described above, and I get taken advantage of or walked all over or mistreated than so be it.  I will leave it to God to right where I have been wronged and fight my battles.  Living in a world of constant cynicism seems to be to be a far greater prison than the alternative. 

 

I was going to take a few more online quizzes just to prove to myself that I am happy, but I think I know myself well enough.  I am far from happy at all times but I do my best to be a good person, to be optimistic and to serve others.  I have an amazing family and many supportive friends and I think that that is good enough. It doesn't mean that there isn't room for improvement but I have little to berate myself with.  

 



Happiness Questions

So as I am going along here more and more I start to have questions that I can't seem to find answers to.  Hopefully I will find these answers eventually but if anyone has any wisdom to share I am all ears. Here are my questions.

1. I have heard that anxiety can exacerbated by thinking errors.  This has made me wonder how much of Cognitive Distortion leads to unhappiness?  How much happiness do we really control in our minds?  How much of our own happiness can be destroyed with our own thoughts?  Are these learned behaviors?  Are they a product of our mood or mindset?

2.  Along with the questions above, how much of our happiness hinges on our ability to see and believe in limitless possibilities?  Obviously our belief in possibilities leads us to act and if we believe in nothing we are hopeless and we are in a position to do nothing about it.  My coworkers were talking today about all the school shootings going on now and they were saying people who get in those situations see it as their only option.  It has made me think of myself and how narrow minded I can be when I consider the things that will make me happy in life.  Are there many other possibilities that I have ruled out unnecessarily just because my brain isn't creative enough to think of other options?  Are there new experiences that I could be enjoying right now that I have somehow ruled out in my mind and I am standing in my own way?

3. How much of diet affects your levels of happiness.  Obviously your body has nutritional needs and when they aren't being met we can all get irritable but does this also connect with our overall happiness and if so how?

4.  My last question seems to be a simple enough one but I have yet to see or find any studies that prove my thoughts either way.  The question is, when we serve other people does it matter if our service is noticed, recognized, appreciated, or rejected?  Obviously the Savior healed all 10 lepers even though only one of them showed gratitude so I am not suggesting that we should only serve people when we receive praise, recognition, acknowledgement or gratitude, but how does all of that affect our happiness and does it have to?  Can I be just as happy doing service for a person who slams the door in my face as I am serving someone who is incredibly grateful?

Like I said these are my questions and if you have any thoughts or can site any studies I would be happy to hear what you have.  In the mean time I will keep searching. Thanks friends!

I Believe in Science

Well sort of.  The thing with Science is that it is usually changing and evolving but it does have a way of uncovering facts, that is until the facts are proven otherwise.  For this next post I wanted to look at how my study so far of the science of happiness connects with the gospel of Jesus Christ and the Savior's teachings on happiness.  As I was doing this research, I kept having all of these ah-ha moments where I thought, hmmm... I have been taught this my whole life through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Community Mindset- Is science really telling me that I will be happier if I take my visiting teaching responsibilities seriously?  I have to say that I have always tried to do my visiting teaching since I got my first assignment in my Minneapolis singles ward.  I have developed a lot of good relationships through the process and learned to love a lot of people that I wouldn't have known otherwise.  You see the struggles that they are facing and you have an opportunity to offer help.  This goes with the whole developing compassion, having a good support network and participating in acts of kindness below.  You also develop a bond with people that is so essential to us not feeling alone and uncared for.

Building relationships- Obviously the church is one of the biggest supporters in the world of the family.  Family relationships are so important and I for one don't know where I would be without mine.  They have been such an amazing support system to me through everything.  Whether we agree on how we should be living our lives or not we have always been there for each other.  We may have our fights and our disagreements but we get over it.  Even my brother who is not active in church was telling me last week, how glad he was that our family has remained strong.  He sees a lot of his friends that don't have family support and he is grateful that he does.  One only needs to take a moment to read The Family Proclamation to see how vital the family is to our church leaders.  Sad how this institution is being threatened on a regular basis,  sad how many families fall apart and sad how so many never get started. 

Physical activity- It is nice to see that our church leaders have mentioned in the afore mentioned proclamation "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." Our leaders are actually telling us to go and have some fun. How cool is that?  We also have people with the specific assignment to serve on recreational committees.  Obviously this is important to leaders of the church.

Believing in and contributing to something bigger than yourself- Oh GOSH! Where do I even start with this?  Let's see, well I would say that God is definitely something bigger and better than myself and we are going to go so far as to try to be like him.  He is all knowing, all powerful, loving, kind, longsuffering.  Then if that isn't enough, we have the more human example to follow his son Jesus Christ.  Let's see, he was able to heal the sick, turn water into wine, feed the 5,000, raise the dead, fast for 40 days and still withstood temptation, he forgave sinners and he raised himself from the dead, atoned for our sins and that is just a few examples of his life that was documented by his apostles.   As far as us contributing to this wonderfulness... well, every member of the church should have a calling, a home or visiting teaching assignment, we do missionary work, we do temple work, we do family history, seminary, boys and girls camp...  the list goes on forever and ever.  I'd say we have this one pretty well covered.

Having a good support network- Well we already covered some of this with Home and Visiting Teaching, and we are taught to have and give family support, but we also have the support from a vast array of church leaders in our wards, stakes, and even up to the 70s and the apostles and prophets.  What a mess I would be without their guidance and direction. 

Developing compassion- Hmmm...  where on earth would we learn about developing compassion?  I was just at an institute class last week where we discussed how the savior showed love.  Here are some of the things we discussed.

• He healed the sick
• He taught truth
• He loved God- President Monson stated, "We cannot truly love God if we do not love our fellow travelers on this mortal journey.  Likewise, we cannot fully love our fellow men if we do not love God, the Father of us all."
• He noticed and spoke to women and children even though it wasn't socially acceptable to do so.
• He didn't fight those trying to kill him
• He healed the soldiers ear that was cut off when they were trying to arrest him
• He forgave
• He continued to teach even though his life was under constant threat
• He had patience
• He atoned for our sins
• He invited and challenged people to be better
• He elevated people

I would say that if we ever want to learn to be compassionate, we have the most amazing example in the world to look to and learn from.

Participating in acts of kindness- Again the list is endless.  I ask myself do I even start such an endless list of ways members of the church participate in acts of kindness?  If you really need some examples here because they aren't obvious enough, you just let me know and we can go over them in greater detail.

In conclusion, based on the science of happiness, I don't know if there is another group of people with more opportunity or advantage in the happiness department.  The reality though is that the church's teachings were never based on scientific experiments or studies. These teachings are as older than time and still they are proven by science to be effective means of happiness.  What else can we conclude then except God love's us and he wants us to be happy.  Our greatest challenge to happiness then is to apply the teachings of the gospel in our lives.  The more we apply them the happier we can become. 

One last thing I want to say, because I do not want anyone to misunderstand what I am saying here.  Member's of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, will not be happy every moment of every day.  We will all have trials and challenges that will help us grow and develop if we will allow them to.  It is my belief that God's desire for us to become like him outweighs to a much greater degree his desire for us to be happy all the time.  This process can be incredibly painful at times and in those moments, happiness is very hard to find.  It is also my belief that God wants us to have joy and this feeling supersedes happiness and has a slightly different path.  Perhaps I will do a little more studying on joy while I am at it.