Good Times in MN!

My trip was good.  It started out with the possibility of getting a later flight, getting a free hotel and a $600 flying voucher on Frontier Airlines and after they first told me they needed me they told me that they didn't. They still gave me a $50 voucher which I have already used on my next flight. That was a nice bonus but next time I am SO going to be first in line for that deal. 

I spent a lot of time with my nieces and nephews.  They are nine, six, four and one.  They were cracking me up.  When I first got there Reagan (AKA Blond Bomber, Prettiest One, Littles, Princess, or Baybah-which she doesn't want to be called anymore because she thinks it is a weird word) said, "I know what you are going to eat." I said, "What?" and she said, "Squash!"  Then later she was playing with her Frozen dolls and she was making Elsa and Hans kiss, and then she said, "Now we are going to get babies."

This is that adorable lady who just finished her dance class and got a heart stamp. Cate says she will only have French braids when I come to town because she feels like she is incapable of ever learning to do them. 

Above is Elias (AKA Chuckles, Upgrade, Big Shot, Puddin-pronounced poohn, or LiDus as Marie calls him). He just randomly laughs all the time in a very deep laugh that you wouldn't expect to come out of a baby.

We took the kids to the indoor amusement park at Mall of America for some good times.

 Yes, that is me, Ian and Reagan on the Log Ride which happens to be Reagan's favorite ride and the ride that Ian kept boasting didn't scare him. 

 This train ride was Elias's first ride ever.  Time of his life I am sure.

Apparently I am working on being the favorite aunt because I spent a lot of time with the kids on the playgrounds, playing hide and seek, tag and hopscotch.  Luna (AKA Luna Belle) always wants to be outside any chance she gets and has little interest in movies or video games. We had some good times but hopscotch left me with a scrape on my toe and a rolled ankle.  Good thing Cate put her massage skills to work and had me healed by the next day.  These kids are hard core competition.  They don't mess around.

Luna liked to show off her mad pole climbing skills...

The playground gave Reagan some awesome static...

This is what happens when a nine and six year old get ahold of your phone...

This is Ian's (AKA Snug-A-Lug, Snuggs, Hunk, Hunk a Lunk, Mr. Doodens, or Mitty) first day of school.  He was wearing a shirt that his mom made him with the Batman symbol.  He was a little embarrassed because the bat symbol was made out of a silver sparkly iron on so he covered it up for the picture.  He later told me that some of the kids asked him if he was wearing a girl's shirt.  Then he showed them the back that said in black batman lettering, "IAN IS BATMAN" and that quieted all the kids and Ian was pretty proud of that part. 



Then lastly I took a little walk down memory lane and saw my old elementary school that I attended for the second half of sixth grade.  It was one of four elementary schools I attended and now Cate is trying to investigate it because she thinks that they have turned it into a cover for a Muslim training academy. 

Then I saw the old theater we used to go to when I was in high school.

And the grocery store we used to always shop at...



 And good ol' Hopkins Main Street...

Hopkins really was a pretty nice town to live in.  We had the Raspberry Festival and a pretty decent community. I have some happy memories of that place for sure.  Even though we moved around it was nice to be at the same junior high and high school for the most part. 

 I guess I must have had a good time. The kids really wore me out because I came home and slept 11 hours my first night home.  It was 7:00pm-6:00am and it was quite dreamy.  I can't say I ever remember sleeping that much but I totally earned it.

Overcoming

Monday morning we had an extended devotional which happens about once a quarter at my work. Chad who is the our Administrator spoke to us. He is basically the guy over Seminaries and Institutes right under the general authorities. He was one of the guys that I wanted to be a secretary for. By the way I did not get that job but I am okay with that because I still like the job I have. Anyway, he gave us a shortened version of a presentation that he had given while doing training with seminary and institute teachers. I suppose he has seen a need to talk to them about getting help when they are struggling. Truth is we all struggle even people who teach the gospel of Jesus Christ. Chad would be involved if they ever had to let someone go from their jobs due to unworthiness. My guess is that he has seen a few teachers let go, who had problems and they never went to talk to anyone about their problems or got any sort of help because they were too ashamed to admit that they have struggles just like the rest of us. 

He wanted us to brainstorm where we could go for help if we were struggling with marital problems, anxiety, depression, same sex attraction, addiction, pornography, and many other serious issues. He listed a lot of things that you wouldn't think that any of our teachers struggle with or are tempted by, but apparently no one is 100% immune. I think he also wanted to throw out these big issues because he didn't want us to think that any of these problems were beyond help or hope. 

People suggested talking to bishops, finding mentors who have had similar struggles, learning to talk to and connect with your spouse, LDS Family Services, going to the scriptures, and prayer.  The things that have been the most helpful for me personally when I have struggled include my institute class, uplifting music, reading my scriptures and my patriarchal blessing, prayer and the temple. I have seen how Jacob 2:8 is true for me. It is also very helpful for me when I struggle to talk to family and friends who I know care deeply about me. I thought it was interesting that even though Elizabeth Smart endured horrible struggles she never went to a psychiatrist or went for counseling. She did however do other things that strengthened her and had the support of an amazing family. She has definitely proven that it is possible to overcome horrendous trauma.

Chad started out by telling a story of his younger sister who hadn't been feeling well, but because she thought she was too young to have any serious problems she just decided not to worry about it for a year or two.  By the time she got around to doing something about it her doctors told her that she had late stage cancer and she would have 4 months to live.  Chad went to visit his sister in Colorado and he asked her, "Do you ever ask the question, why me?" She responded and said, "I have wondered, why not me." She was a young mother to a big and also young family and all of this was going to be very hard on her family.  The truth is we ALL have our struggles so instead of asking ourselves, "Why me?" We might as well ask, "Why not me?" Then in the end we learned that his sister didn't die and she had some miraculous healing that he didn't have time to go into in detail about but she has been declared cancer free. 

Chad showed us this picture from Carl Bloch and we discussed it for a while.

Obviously we can't say that suffering is proof that God doesn't love us, because Christ suffered more than any of us ever will and yet God allowed it despite his great love for our Savior. He not only allowed the suffering but it was part of his plan for our happiness.  Christ asked for this suffering to be removed and God didn't take the pain, anguish or horror of it all away.  Heavenly Father did however send an angel to strengthen him.  He doesn't enjoy our suffering but sometimes he knows that there is no way around it if we are going to progress.

Speaking of progress, I was in my institute class last week and the teacher asked us what our favorite scriptures were from the Book of Mormon.  I got to thinking about it and I realized that mine include Ether 12:27-28 and Alma 36 I started to wonder why these were my favorites and I realized that they had some common themes like change of heart, conversion, progress and overcoming. P.S. Revelations has some great scriptures on overcoming and the associated blessings that are pretty amazing. Our tests and trials are certainly not without pain, or heartache but in the end they can come with greater joy then we have ever known. 

Chad mentioned how the scriptures reference us having clean hands and a pure heart.   I always thought that having clean hands was synonymous with having a pure heart, but according to Chad having a pure heart has more to do with us changing, through learning, growth and struggle.  It has to do with us becoming someone greater than we ever imagined. 

My institute teacher Angela Allred happened to post this on Facebook a few days ago and it has really been inline with a lot of my thoughts lately. "I can say with conviction that the struggle which evil necessitates is one of the greatest blessings. It makes us strong, patient, helpful men and women. It lets us into the soul of things and teaches us that although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." ~ Helen Keller

We discussed Alma 7:11-13 and how Christ took upon himself our pains, afflictions, temptations, sicknesses, death, infirmities, sins, and transgressions.  Is there any problem that is not covered in that set of scriptures?  I can't think of one, but just because they are covered doesn't mean that they will instantly be taken away from us. 

Elder Dallin H Oaks said,
"Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a “healing” cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are “healed” by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us… At times we may despair that our burdens are too great. When it seems that a tempest is raging in our lives, we may feel abandoned and cry out like the disciples in the storm, "Master, carest thou not that we perish?" (Mark 4:38). At such times we should remember His reply: "Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?" (v.40). The healing power of the Lord Jesus Christ - whether it removes our burdens or strengthens us to endure and live with them.... -is available to every affliction in mortality."

And finally he shared with us the scripture from 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

…lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh… For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then am I strong.

I am so glad to have my job and work in a place where I feel like I am cared about spiritually as well as many other ways.  I have been given many blessings in my life that I can not forget. 

Squash Baby Progress

I am a terrible squash mom.  I just want to eat my babies anyway.  For one thing I have two plants growing in one pot.  I just put about 6 seeds in my two big pots and one of the pots started to grow one plant and the other one started to grow two. I think that I should have selectively aborted one of the plants because I think they have been fighting for water and they haven't given me any hope of producing any fruit.  Here they are fighting to stay alive...

Then there are these two casualties I found...

I think that the nasty grasshopper at my back door may have gotten to them.  This one gives me some small reason to hope although, the pot this one is growing in is probably too small.



 

Then there is this little man.  He is my only real hope of delicious squash enjoyment someday.  Hold on little buddy, I want to devour you inside and out someday. 

Best Interview EVER!

I had a job interview yesterday and I have to say it was very refreshing. I knew all three of the people interviewing me they all work on the same floor I do. It was Kelly, a man whose secretary I would become, Mike, the Director of S&I HR and Karen, the retiring woman who's place I would be taking.

The interview started with hearing Kelly tell me how great I am and how much I am appreciated for all the work I do. He told me that almost 200 people applied, and of those 200 they are interviewing 12. I was told that I was in the top of those 12 that they wanted to interview for sure. That was all really unexpected. Usually people go to interviews and the focus is usually on your weaknesses and liabilities. 

During the interview I gave an example of a time that I had a conflict with someone at work. Then Mike said, "That is actually a really good example." Sometimes it is hard to think on your feet so I am glad that I was able to come up with something good.

Then when I was leaving for the day I just happened to ride the elevator with Mike. Right away he said, "You did well today." I wasn't really thinking I had much of a shot at this job but after all the positive feedback, now it seems a little more promising. The issue is that I am not a secretary, I am a finance person, even though I do a fare share of secretarial work.  I know of two other secretaries on my floor who have applied and have interviews.

Well perhaps all this buttering up was just to let me down easy when they give the job to someone else. Kelly is very good at passing out compliments and this isn't the first time he has paid me a nice compliment for the work that I do. The other question I ask myself is, "Do people like this make it a habit of giving out compliments because they hope that people will live up to all the praise they are given?" Honestly I don't feel like I deserve their kindness but it does make me want to live up to what they say. Perhaps I shouldn't question the kindness of others, but this has all made me think, it also makes me want to work more with people like that.

Am I a Terrible Persosn?

So I saw Cameron on the bus today.  This is the third time we have talked.  I have to be honest though, he isn't as happy or as cheerful as he used to be and that makes me sad.  We did the same routine where I motion for him to come back and sit next to me and he just motions that he wants to sit in the front but then he will turn back and wave at me from time to time.  So again I moved up to where he was and I started to talk to him. 

A girl from my ward who's name is also Alecia was on the bus and she is really pretty excited about missionary work.  She was passing out pass along cards on the bus. I almost wanted to stop her from offering one to the lesbian couple (at least that was my guess on their status) but then I thought, nope they should have a right to be offered the gospel just like anyone else.  They just laughed and looked at each other like they just heard the best joke. Anyway she offered a card to Cameron as well.  He said that he was going to call the number on the back to get the free video.

I moved up to sit by Cameron when I saw the girl across from him pulled the cord to get off the bus.  He said that he was going to Smith's this time to get some fried chicken or beef jerky.  Anyway, I may have snapped this picture of him when he wasn't looking. 

Does that make me a terrible person? :/ It isn't a very good picture but doesn't he almost look heavenly with the sun streaming in behind him?  I told him that I knew Alecia and that we went to church together and then we passed our church building on the bus and I told him that is where we went to church. Alecia then promptly invited him to come to church at 1:45 on Sunday.  Oh what a day.  Just makes me chuckle a little bit.  :)

A Life with Conviction

So tonight I did something a little uncharacteristic for me, but sometimes I get tired of doing everything that is characteristic for me.  I heard that Matt Walsh the blogger was speaking down in Provo (because he has gotten the most support from Utah) a few months ago and I didn't know of anyone else who wanted to go so I just decided that I was going to go anyway and maybe I would hear of others going down later.  Well I didn't hear of any others and then even today I was thinking, "Do I really want to drive all the way down to Provo by myself to hear this guy regurgitate everything I have already read in his blog posts?"  I wondered if I could return the ticket and all that type of nonsense and then I just decided I was going to go because I usually enjoy what he has to say in his blog and I wanted to support him.

Well I went and I was not disappointed.  I even saw and sat by another girl from my ward and her friends.  He said that we all paid for this and we could have gone to opening night of The Ninja Turtles instead, so he better make it worth our time and money. As I was listening to him talk, I was thinking, "Why am I enjoying this so much?"  He is obviously funny but that wasn't the only reason and the more I thought about it the more I realized that it is because he lives by and stands up for his convictions.  He finds meaning and purpose to his life and that was a stark contrast to how I have been feeling lately.  Honestly I have been feeling pretty blah about life lately, little purpose, little direction, little meaning. 

He started out by giving three examples of when he didn't stand up for himself, his family or his beliefs.  He said one day in class he mentioned his 5 siblings and some kid in the back of the class said, "Sounds like your mother couldn't keep her legs together."  He just sat down and didn't say anything and the teacher after class even told him that he did the right thing by not saying anything but he didn't believe he did the right thing.  He said that he wished that he had punched the guy in the face or at least given the guy a warning to never talk that way about his mother ever again.

He also talked about how there was an abortion clinic right next to his school and if it was two feet closer to his school it would be on school property.  He said that his mother and sisters would often go to the clinic and pray outside for the girls that they wouldn't abort their babies.  He said one early morning when he was at football practice some of the kids on his team saw them and said, "Oh look the Jesus lovers are outside the clinic." Then they made reference to his sisters as being the strange ones in school.  Again he said and did nothing. 

And shoot... now I can't think of the third example.  I should have taken notes.  Hopefully I will think of it later.  I will update this post if I do.

These experiences ate away at him to the point that he couldn't live that way anymore and now I can see why he so boldly stands up for what he believes now. 

He talked about King Henry VIII that wanted to divorce his wife because she couldn't bare him a son.  The Catholic church said no.  He tried to get the Catholic Priest John Fisher to agree with his decision to start his own church so he could divorce his wife and he refused to agree and he stood his ground so firmly that King Henry had him beheaded.  He talked about how so many of us today are not capable of standing this firmly.  We not only compromise on one thing but we compromise our way out of many aspects of our faith and our religion so that we can be tolerant, accepted and liked by people.  I have recently been thinking about the quote that says it is better to be trusted than to be loved.  Too often we want acceptance and we will even compromise our integrity for it.

He said that with Mormons there is the stereotype that we believe in polygamy.  He said that the divorce rate is high in this world and he was talking to a guy that had been married and divorced four times.  He said that man practices polygamy.  He said that the divorce rate among Christians is lower than the average but it is even lower among Mormons.  He said not only do you not practice polygamy but you are practicing it the least of all people.  I thought that was rather clever. 

He spoke about how there is no passion in our world today and people aren't standing up for anything anymore.  He said he doesn't necessarily need to agree with someone but if they have a conviction then they need to be passionate about it.  He gave an example of an environmentalist, he said if someone is an environmentalist then they should go out and chain themselves to a tree instead of going into their air conditioned homes and talking on their cell phones. He said that in congress back in the day they would really duke out their arguments and now it makes the news and is frowned upon if anyone gets into a heated debate because they just want everyone to be moderate and get along instead of having strong feelings or opinions.

At the end of the night there was a Q and A session and some people asked him if he was sure he wasn't Mormon and if he had read the Book of Mormon.  He said that there was a Book of Mormon in his hotel room drawer and perhaps he would take it with him.  One lady at the end of the night said that she often feels like she is living in zombie land where people just want to talk about the weather and things that didn't really have much significance, instead of talking about things that have far reaching and eternal consequences.  He said that he was never one for small talk and at one point he thought about writing a book called Big Talk to address that issue.  He said that we get so trained to not talk about politics or religion but that is all he has ever wanted to talk about.

Another person asked what his thoughts were on dealing with a family member struggling with same sex attraction.  He talked about how if you have a certain compulsion like kleptomania and you want to steal all the time, he said no one ever calls you a thief until you actually steal something and yet with people who have an attraction to their same gender are labeled gay before they have ever acted on it.  He said that the suicide rate is really high in the gay population and he felt that a big reason for that was because when people are labeled as gay, they are told that is just the way you are and you can't change but in his mind that is the most hopeless thing you can tell someone in that situation.  Tell a person that they are stuck the way they are even if it makes them unhappy and they are not supposed to feel worse about that?  Take their hope away for a better life and what do they have left?  He said he would tell his family member that they should fight it and that there is hope for them. 

Bottom line incase you were wondering, I am glad I decided to go. I wish I could have remembered more.  I knew if I waited any longer to write this I would have forgotten more.  Here is my evidence that I saw him in the flesh...

The Happiness Project (part five)

Okay is it sad that the thing I am the happiest about right now is that I have FINALLY finished this book? 300 pages take a lot longer when you are taking notes the whole time.  I don't know why I can't be happy while I am reading some of these books on happiness.  I suppose it is because the happiness will come after I apply what I have learned and work to change my life.

In this last part Gretchen talks about pursuing things that make her happy.  Her interests have a lot to do with reading.  I can't say I am with her on that unless I am reading about something that really interests me.  Mine are probably more like dancing, rollerblading and hiking.  Well dancing that can happen every day in my living room if I like but I haven't gone blading once this summer and that is just NOT right.  I will have to remedy that soon.  Maybe next week. 

Gretchen then looked into mindfulness meditation and laughing out loud but she realized that the area that she wanted to work on most was using good manners.  She took the Newcastle Personality Assessor Test.  I took it too and my results are here. This test measures the following five things...

1. Extroversion: response to reward
2. Neuroticism: response to threat
3. Conscientiousness: response to inhibition (self-control, planning)
4. Agreeableness: regard for others
5. Openness to experience: breadth of mental associations

One thing that was an eye opener to her in studying this was that people with high neuroticism have strong negative reactions -fear, anxiety, shame, guilt, disgust and sadness which is very often directed at themselves.  This was a bit of an eye opener to me too because I just thought that neurotic people were just selfish and self centered.  I suppose this means that I should be extra nice to people like that because they are already being too hard on themselves in some cases.

Gretchen realized that law school had made her belligerent and argumentative so she wanted to work on this through having better manners in her interactions and conversations with others.  She came to realize that enthusiasm is a form of social courage.  It takes courage to show enthusiasm to others when they may squash your excitement.  It is much easier to be negative, and giving positive reviews requires humility, because you can't exercise your superiority.  Then Gretchen had a startling realization...

"Once I started trying to give positive reviews though, I began to understand how much happiness I took from the joyous ones in my life- and how much effort it must take for them to be consistently good tempered and positive. It is easy to be heavy; hard to be light.  We nonjoyous types suck energy and cheer from the joyous ones; we rely on them to buoy us with their good spirit and to cushion our agitation and anxiety.  At the same time, because of the dark element of human nature, we're sometimes provoked to try to shake the enthusiastic, cheery folk out of their fog of illusion- to make them see that the play was stupid, the money was wasted, the meeting was pointless.  Instead of shielding their joy, we blast it.  Why is this?  I have no idea but the impulse is there."

Gretchen decided to play the Pollyanna glad game for a week and try not to say anything negative.  She never made it through a day without saying something negative.  She learned that when peoples minds are unoccupied they tend to drift to anxious or angry thoughts.  Rumination leads to bad thoughts.  This just makes me think of Doctrine and Covenants 88:124.

Then she was down to her last month of happiness in December and even though she didn't have any scientific evidence that she was happier she knew that she was.  She was going to try to live all of her resolutions perfectly but she failed at that attempt, that doesn't mean she wasn't happier because she had made improvement.  In the moments when she wasn't happy she knew of several things she could do to make herself happier.  She said that the thing that helped her achieve the most happiness was having her resolutions chart.  The hardest part was always following through.  She discovered the difference between goals and resolutions.  She said you hit your goals but you keep your resolutions.  Resolutions change us, and they make us strive to be better people, happier people if we make the right resolutions.  I thought that was rather profound. 

In the end she gives suggestions for us all to do our own happiness projects.  I guess the thought of all of this isn't too new to me.  I have been making resolutions most of my life but I suppose that there is ALWAYS room for improvement, I just need to think more about the ways that I want to improve my life to make it happier.  I don't have any new happy books on the docket so I will have to figure that one out.  My sister tells me that I need to read, "Happiness is a Serious Problem" which was written by her favorite radio talk show host Dennis Prager, BUT they don't have it at the library, so I am going to have to figure something out.